Jan 10, 2014

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2013 redux

It has become a personal tradition to review my year and share thoughts, good and bad, about the past twelve months. Reading over my 2012 redux and Changes in 2013 blog posts I can see a number of things repeating, but enough change that I’m happy with what I achieved in 2013.

I attended Compass Conference and met a community that embraces the difficult questions and recognises the validity of laments. I went to Parachute again. I’ve had all four wisdom teeth out. I volunteered at Webstock 2013 which gave me the chance to meet the awesome volunteers and speakers. I started running, got injured, did physio, started up again. I can now run 8km – my first goal was to run for 5 minutes without stopping.

I opened up to my friends about some of my biggest struggles in 2012. Pushing through the fear I’d be rejected and embarrassed landed me in a much better place for 2013. We’ve grown closer as individuals and as a group this year, I’ve been blessed to be part of it.

I dropped to 4 days a week at work and took Friday as a personal day. I set two hours aside for prayer, worship, bible study and time with God. This has been the best thing I’ve done all year, because I stuck to it and because I’ve needed it. Fridays have not been perfect, I’m less productive than I’d like and I wish I’d finished Sentinel by now, but Cancel That Card is going strong, despite being blocked for a while. I also went to my first midnight movie screening: Hunger Games: Catching Fire. It was worth it. I did Movember for the first and last time and saw my first roller-derby game. I got to go in a submarine for the first time.

I’ve been better with doing yoga and my body is happier for it. I’ve been to Sydney again, started up Community Tech Support through church, but the interest has been close to zero. I’ve been so very tired through the year and I don’t know what to do about it. I moved out of home, transitioning into flatting life quite easily. I made time to be with a mate having surgery. I’ve also been learning guitar. I’ve been less stressed this year, despite the workload I’ve had at the office. I’ve been tempted and frustrated, I’ve offered help and it’s not been taken and been offered help I didn’t want to take. I’ve spent more time on Buzzfeed than I’ll admit and more time praying for selfish things than a ‘good’ Christian should, but that’s okay because I’ll never be the perfect Christian, nobody will.

People I’ve allowed to get close to me this year have said they’ve seen me grow and that’s the biggest encouragement I’ve had this year. In 2012 I was drowning in everything I needed to do, getting overwhelmed by my TODO lists and the expectations I put on myself – more so than the expectations of others. In 2013 I started swimming, against the tide, but swimming. Fridays gave me a chance to deal with those nagging things that need doing. Of course, swimming is tiring, but I have to hope there’s a reason I put in all this effort.

I’m not sure what 2014 has in store, but I feel like this will be a year with bigger changes than the last. I’ll try to put more focus on relationships and less on projects. I’ll keep running, my long term target is a half marathon. I’ll find better ways to cope with stress and I’ll try my hardest to give someone else the chance to be my biggest critic and give myself a break.

So here’s to 2014, let’s see what you’ve got. :)

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