A life lived without it is a life not lived. I'm not talking about fear of outside circumstances, of an abusive partner or being able to pay the bills, I'm talking about the fear you create to drive yourself forward. I'm also not suggesting it should always be present either, I think it should come and go.
Attempts to never fear will also drive out your willingness to take risks, for fear of failure or a bad result. This is how I've lived for a while. I've not taken risks, I've done the sensible thing and I've ended up in a bubble that's very safe but very boring and unfulfilling.
I've started looking at my options for fixing this and some of them scare me. There's a photography school in Hawaii I'm looking at. It's Christian based, they train you up in faith and skills and then send you out to a country to photograph the injustice of the world for all to see. That's just one option but it freaks me out - the idea of moving overseas then going somewhere else with a camera and who knows what else.
The thing is, it's also really appealing. To do it I'd give have to give up my stable job, leave my friends and family and travel for at least 6 months, not something I'm keen on doing and so far all I've done is look at their site and think about it for a few minutes.
The bible says in Isaiah 41:10:
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
So why do I view this fear as a good thing? Maybe my definition of fear is different from someone who has truly experienced terror but fear motivates me into action. Fear of failure made me study as hard I could for my Uni assignments and exams. I'm putting this fear into God's hands. If He wants me to do this He will help me get there. If God has my back how can I be afraid of failing? Maybe this will turn into nothing, or something else will come up.
I've heard stories of people doing amazing things overseas for God and through Him. Perhaps it's my turn. Your prayers and guidance would be greatly appreciated either way.
