It's been a busy month. Josh quit and this left me doing both our workloads for the entire month, which left me rather drained and fed up. This is why this post is so late, that and I hadn't thought about writing it until Matt asked me when it would be ready.
So, when I got home I didn't really feel like doing much, which led me to just watching TV and trying to relax. Not a bad thing by any means but on a daily basis it's not healthy. I didn't get out, I didn't do much.
The weekends were a different matter. I had to look back at my calender, but I actually attended a few birthdays and did other stuff. I did a DJing gig, which was great if tainted by a complaining attendee. This shouldn't have hit me as hard as it did, but I'd been looking forward to this and his comments kinda hit me in the gut. I stopped DJing for a while after that but I'm back into it now with new tracks. The best part of that experience was the support I got from others, especially one of my newer friends, CJ. I usually stand up for myself and I don't expect others to defend me, but this time it was both welcome and appreciated.
I went to the Arise conference which was awesome, yet it only showed me how I'm more trying to live life on my own and only deal with God when I feel like it. Having grown up with this idealistic "all will be well if I'm christian" viewpoint I wasn't really ready for a life that had a decent amount of 'unfair' difficulty. I also wonder how I can complain with a solid job, good future prospects and a loving family and friends.
The trick to me seems to be not to view God as a band aid for life, but more one of those ACC injury prevention booklets. Even if you secure a ladder you can fall off, but the chances are a lot less likely. If you commit yourself to God, he can help guide you through trouble, even though it's still going to be there. Life isn't all happiness and roses, sometimes bad things happen and that's when you get tested.
My sister also got engaged (congrats to her and her fiance) and her party was an acute reminder how nervous I get around new people. I stayed mostly to myself and didn't enjoy it a lot. I either need common ground or a good introduction before I'll talk to someone new.
The final day of August was rounded off by a trip to Bulls to play RAM (think paintball with realistic guns and semi-military tactics). It was good fun and a really difficult workout. Lesson learned: dehydration gives you a huge headache and is to be avoided at all costs. Oh, and a close range shot on bare arm will make you bleed and leave a nice mark. I still have mine and I bet it won't be gone for at least another 2 weeks.
I need to make more of an effort to spend time with people, but part of me always wonders if they actually want to be bugged or if I should leave them to do their own thing. I guess that's partly been answered tonight, I have friends coming round for a movie and bringing pizza, which is good because I'm both bored and hungry.
